I’ve spent so much time, my whole life it seems, proving that I can do everything/anything myself, that I no longer know what I do best.
I have/am wasted/wasting my time doing everything myself that I should be having others who do it better do for me that I am no longer excelling at anything.
I truly have become a jack of all trades and master of none while I have been deluding myself that I am really a master of all and jack of none — guess I don’t know jack, even though he was my father.
But wait — my dad was named Jack but rarely did he attempt to do everything himself though he could be quite handy and often tried. He was perhaps trying to emulate his adopted father John whom was truly handy in so many ways.
Yet he too didn’t try to do Everything. Could it be a trait I picked up from my father’s biological father whom I never met or knew — or something I mistakenly took as a directive when hearing that phrase —
jack of all trades and master of none?
So here I am at seventy, trying to do everything and ending up feeling wasted and wan.
I’ve tried to be Jack and I’m only John.